Holden McNeil. He does something which no man, either in film or real life really does. He has feelings for an open woman. I mean, come on! Yes, he still shows love for a gay woman in a way, but that's not the point. He does this in such a god damn boring way, as in he pours his bleeding cliched heart and actual metaphorical soul out to Joey Lauren Adams's character in true horrendous style, sitting moping and sighing away inside the shell of a dilapidated car, whilst it pours down with tepid rain.
His speech, although a brilliant Kevin Smith monologue, still makes any member of an audience feel cringe-worthy. In essence, the message is one that rings true. The angst of any true man is to never display his emotions in any ways shape or form to a woman, especially one which he is head over heels in love with. God, that word, love, makes most people I know laugh at. The man I met today waiting for a kebab made the word look as disgusting as an enema when his lashed compatriot got in with a girl the size of a truck outside Ali's.
Anywho, the main point of the story is unrequited versions of this so called existence of a thing called love. I'm almost sure it exists. I'm sure I've got plenty of time to find out about it. But, I'm stuck in a rut. I cant express myself ever fully to any girl around here because I know I'm repulsive to most women I've even managed to chat with. Not the face, but the personality is about as charming as a toxic fallout. For the past three months or years I've not held a successful relationship due to either reality or naivety.
Feeling more than stupid, I decide to do the same old thing. Play the shy guy. I should be that dickhead rude boy that so many people love to hate, yet can't keep themselves away from. I fall for the worst people, or the people that in retrospect would be better than myself. The self deprecating ways in which I portray myself, well it gives people the opportunity to utilize their inadequacies and attack me.
In fact, all I do is whine. Why the fuck can't I just be happy?! God; for once in my life, I just need someone important, say like Mr.T to just come into my room and utter "Shut up fool! All I hear is whining, stop with the miming, man up! Get some nuts!". Yet honestly, I can't think of a man who wouldn't want a Mr.T moment once in their own life.
I guess I'm still waiting for my Holden McNeil moment.
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